So, he's broken your heart... done a number on you and gotten your best friend pregnant, or maybe your maid..? He's mistakenly left his phone and you've discovered all the horrid, X rated pictures of him with several girls, none of whom is you...?
You have cried your eyes - and nostrils - out. You've walked around feeling like a ton of bricks dropped on you, abi?
Ahem. Wake up. Smell the coffee. Or is it the he goat you should smell? It's time to get your mojo back, get your act together and start living again. Here are the top ten things you should do to get your heart - and head - back in shape.
1. Watch tons of comedy : Load up on data and gather all the funny videos you can lay your hands on. Get all the trending hilarious online skits. Become a moving comedy theatre and watch comedy all the time. Whenever the thought of your ex pops into your head, put on some Falz the bahd guy and see if you'll even remember the fellow's name afterward. Get your friends to send you all the skits they find crazy and just devour them.
2. Hook up with those friends that always disliked him: Yes, those ones. The ones who warned you about him, the ones who never liked the two of you together, for whatever reason. You need them now. All the negative stuff they'll happily say about him will help to quickly shut down those tiny leftover feelings and get you shedding him off your skin!
3. Go out, a lot: Not just to any old place, but to those areas where the cutest, handsomest, built guys go. You need loads of eye candy now to distract you. You might not be ready to start dating again, but all that viewing will remind you there's endless fish in the sea and that when one door slams shut, there are many others waiting for your lovely hands to open them...
4. Travel: Take that trip to that place you always wanted to go. Make it somewhere new, that will require your concentration and that will absorb you. Go. Explore.
5. Shop: Okay, there's a recession, so you can't really buy many things. That doesn't stop you from getting one pair of shoes, though. Just make sure you browse through hundreds before settling for the nicest, cutest, highest pair you can walk in. The distraction will help you and those heels will tap into your inner sexy again!
6. Read: Dont like to travel? Then read. Take a journey with your mind. Get a gripping novel, a mystery drenched plot and go away in your head....
7. Talk to your male friends: Guys usually don't deal with shades of grey, they are great at making you see sense. They are usually more forthright in their speech and will say 'guy things' that will make you realize he was an 'oloriburuku somebori' anyway.
8. Go to church: Get your praise and worship on. Remember who made all men and has the one for you in store somewhere. I'm serious. You need God now!
9. Make pepper soup!: And consume it by the gallon. Fish, goat meat, orisirisi, make different types and down while watching your comedy skits. Let the spices and pepper wash away your pain :D
10. Sign up with a fitness group: Get fitter, lovelier. It will put a bounce to your step and all those feel good hormones that get released with a workout will get your mojo back real quick!
There you have it. What are you waiting for??